Sheena, Zelos and Regal Don't Like Mary Sues
by TEi Has Pants
Summary: What Sheena, Zelos and Regal really think of Emil and Marta.


**Sheena, Zelos and Regal Don't Like Mary Sues**

**Author's Note:** This story is created for entertainment purposes, nothing more, nothing less. All characters, places and events are copyrighted Namco-Bandai.

- - -

"There's something about them I don't like."

Zelos hiked an eyebrow and gave Sheena a furtive glance. "You mean the kids and their dog?"

"Yeah, them." Sheena kept her voice low; Marta and Emil were only barely ahead of them, ducking beneath a moss-covered stone arch.

These were the ruins of an ancient temple Sheena had traveled through before when trying to save the worlds of Sylvarant and Tethe'alla with Lloyd, Zelos and the rest, and cutting through here was the fastest path from Mizuho to the Gaoraccia Forest. The ruins' style was vastly different from the architecture of Mizuho, but the worlds were an old place and Sheena's home village never stayed in one place for very long. Not even the chief - her adopted Grandfather - knew the origins of the ruins, only vague myths about spirits and demons. Maybe they were related, but Sheena had never felt like this place was anything other than just that.

(Raine had been quick to berate Sheena's attitude on the subject matter, two years prior. But that was Raine for you.)

Through the dilapidated roof of the building filtered golden beams of sunlight, seeping through the multitude of holes above, and motes of pollen floated in the air. This place was...peaceful.

"It's unusual for you to pass judgment so suddenly," Regal noted from behind Sheena and Zelos; Sheena had known Regal long enough to figure out the subtle differences between his the tones of his scolding voice and his fact-stating voice, and fortunately, his statement fell amongst the latter. "What's made you feel that way?"

"Just...I'm not sure." Sheena felt her face flush, and she glanced at the ground, her fingers curling. "The way they act. How Emil is a useless wimp one minute, but the instant he gets set off, he's full of rage and ass-kickery. How Marta treats Emil like a knight in shining armor despite how useless he is outside of his Ratatosk-mode, and how ignorant and belligerent he is _in_ Ratatosk-mode. How both of them are treating us like we're their best friends, despite the fact that they hate Lloyd so much."

"I know, right?" Zelos shrugged and stuffed his hands into his pockets, giving a helpless grin. "Like we aren't supposed to take exception to that. Lloyd's our bud! I don't care what either of those kids say, he didn't raze Palmacosta."

"That much, they understand," Regal yielded. "However, the extent Emil goes on about it is...disconcerting."

"It makes me want to slap him." Sheena crossed her arms over her chest and sighed. "But then he'd go into Ratatosk-mode and try to attack me, or something. That kid's a ticking time-bomb, and I'm ashamed as a woman to see Marta clinging to him so blindly. It makes me think of every woman who cuddles up to you," she shot, casting a pointed glare and a grin at Zelos.

"Whoa, hey, take it easy!" Zelos held up his hands and laughed. "I take my hunnies _very_ seriously, I'll have you know, and I don't fool a single one."

"You're doing yourself a disservice," Regal noted; Zelos almost took it in stride, but he rubbed the back of his head and flashed a sheepish grin instead.

"It's not just what you said, though." Zelos coughed and cleared his throat in an attempt to reclaim his dignity. "The fact that they treat us like we're best friends. _That_ really bugs me, especially with the whole Lloyd-bashing thing. I mean, sure, I have no problem traveling with them (mostly), but it's only because we've got a common goal. I really, _really_ don't think I could stand being friends with them. They're very...repelling."

"...oh," Regal murmured; Sheena and Zelos both glanced over their shoulders to the older man, the President of the Lezareno company, whose eyes had gone wide and focus distant.

"What is it?" Sheena asked.

Regal shook his head and smiled. "It shames me to say, but in certain literary circles, there is a term to describe characters who fit the very terms we've outlined regarding Emil and Marta, often in context to writers who lack the skill to give those characters depth and realistic relationships to the people around them."

"Yeah?" Zelos said. "Don't keep us waiting, Mr. Bryant! It's unbecoming of a Duke such as yourself."

"They're what people call 'Mary Sues.'"

Sheena hiked her eyebrows. She saw Zelos mouth the words, as if trying to get a taste for them; after a moment, he gave another helpless grin and shrugged. "I can get behind that."

"Now we just have to figure out which one is Mary, and which one is Sue." Sheena rolled her eyes, drawing a chuckle from Regal and Zelos. "'Mary Sues,' huh...?"


End file.
